October Baby

Well--way back in February (which, by the way, seems like an eternity ago), Scott and I learned that a baby would be joining our family in October!  Since that time, my blogging has been well...slacking.  I hate when I go for so long without blogging because I forget to document so many of the fun things we've done.  However, the past few months have really thrown us into survival mode as I have been oh so sick thanks to this growing little turnip inside of me.  I'll attempt to recap some of the highlights.

The day we found out we were expecting was of course exciting but also very nerve wracking.  After having a miscarriage last October at almost 9 weeks, I was hopeful that we would be getting a positive pregnancy test again but honestly I was somewhat pessamistic about the whole thing.  Every month in between, Scott had to continually remind me that the miscarriage wasn't easy on my body and that it would take time for my body to recover and get back on track.  I knew he was right, but was still having a hard time and tortured myself by constantly  playing out all of the 'what if' situations in my head.  Emotionally I still felt very fragile about the situation and since I tend to be fairly private about the trials I face, I really felt that at the time it was something that Scott and I needed to face/work through together.  It was something that was very difficult for both of us, but in different ways.  I am truly so grateful to Scott for his gentle understanding and patience.

Okay--now back to the good part of the story.  Scott and I were anxiously awaiting Pregnancy Test Day at our house.  The day before I planned to take the test (which was a little early) I was walking around the store with Bridger in tow and we came across a pile of bargain books.  There were some children's books in the mix and I told Bridger that we could get him one.  I saw one buried underneath entitled, "I'm a Big Brother!" and immediately thought that we would get that one but then started thinking about how lame it would be to own that book if in fact he WASN'T going to be a big brother.  I splurged and spent a whopping $2 on the book with my glimmer of hope that even if Bridger wasn't going to be a big brother right now, eventually he would be.  I carefully hid the book amid other items praying that the cashier would not look at it and ask me when I was due. :)  Bridger and I continued to walk through the store when we were stopped by an elderly man in a wheelchair.  He was talking to Bridger and asking him how old he was and if he liked to go shopping.  We spoke for a few minutes and before he cruised away he turned to me and said, "There is just nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman."  Away he went without looking back and I immediately evaluated how I looked...did I look fat?  At first I was self-conscious that someone would think that since I was doing an ab workout every day...haha.  But, after calling Scott and talking to him, we decided that perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about what elderly men in grocery stores say about me. (Good advice, honey.)  Since that time, I've come to believe that the man was a small tender mercy placed in my path to settle some of the anxiety I had about facing another negative pregnancy test.

The morning after the grocery store I decided I would take a test.  Bridger woke up and on my way in to get him out of his bed, I stopped by the bathroom and took the test.  I immediately broke down when the pink line appeared.  I took my happy tears in to greet Bridger and then dug through his closet to find the "I'm a Big Brother!" book that I had stashed in the back of his closet so Scott wouldn't know I had bought it.  I finally found the book and told Bridger to go in and wake up Daddy and ask him to read him the book.  Bridger eagerly complied with my request and Scott was shocked (didn't know I had taken the test) and excited at the same time.  It was a fun family moment on our bed as we snuggled, cheered and read Bridger's new book together.

The excitement we all felt from this big news was quickly replaced with a whole lot chaos.  Within I week of finding out we were expecting I was already dealing with severe nausea and throwing up multiple times a day.  I found it difficult to function during the day and even the smallest tasks were overwhelming...making Bridger's lunch made me sick, changing diapers made me sick, and even the smell of Bridger (whether fresh out of the bath or otherwise) made me sick.  I felt horrible but grateful at the same time and did a lot of praying that we would somehow be able to manage it.  Scott was amazing.  He came home from work every night and took care of everything so that I could crawl into bed by 5 p.m.  He also somehow managed to keep Bridger quiet most of the time so I could actually sleep.  Oh, and did I mention he was making dinners, cleaning house and doing laundry, too?  (Yes, drowning in the workload of two full-time jobs on top of his already demanding career.)  The following couple of weeks were increasingly miserable.  I couldn't keep anything down and was lucky to drink more than 2 oz without throwing up.  My body started showing signs of dehydration and one Sunday afternoon Scott wisely insisted that we go in so I could get fluids.  After fluids and nausea medication, I was feeling better (in the sense that I no longer felt so weak) but still feeling as nauseated as ever.  The first night I had IVs was probably the most sick that I have ever been.  It was miserable.  I'll spare you most of the details, but for journaling purposes, lets just say that I was violently shivering, throwing up and completely helpless on the bathroom floor.  After almost losing consciousness a couple of times, I think Scott would have called 9-1-1 had I not threatened him with his life. ;)  To make matters worse it was during this time that we had a pipe in our basement storage room break.  Let me tell you what--the last thing I wanted to be doing at 3:00 in the morning after throwing up all day was to move storage bins, vacuum up water and pull back carpet.

A lot has happened since then.  I am now 16 weeks--still feeling nauseated--but have not had to do an IV treatment for a few weeks--a huge blessing!  I'm still taking nausea medication which doesn't seem do a whole lot but it makes me feel like I'm at least trying.  :)  I have also been able to keep food down so I'm starting to gain back the weight I lost (and more!)  To top things off we are getting more and more excited for the end of the month when we will hopefully be able to find out whether Bridger gets to have a brother or a sister.  I've been feeling the baby's fluttery movements for a week or so and listening to that little heartbeat during our dr. appointments, but I am SO looking forward to having the visual that an ultrasound provides.